I Want to Write a Book

23 July 2020

I get overwhelmed with how much I want to do in my life and how little time I have to do it. I can get paralyzed thinking about my goals. I realize how unattainable they seem, and I can't get myself to work on accomplishing anything. I'm constantly waiting for my future self to finally pick herself up and make things happen, but the wait is getting long.

I'm tired of waiting for someday to finally start. I'm tired of waiting for a more convenient time because, deep down, I know that time will never come. I'm tired of allowing the stories and characters and ghosts of ideas to continue to live undeveloped in my mind. I want to write a book.

For as long as I can remember, writing a book, seeing my name in print on a pretty hardcover has been the biggest imaginary castle in my sky. I used to write everyday. I used to be so enthusiastic about sharing my stories with others. I took classes and researched everything about publishing that I could. 

But over time, I think I just accepted the fact that it wasn't going to happen for me. I read a lot, and have been overcome by how many talented writers there are in the world, and how much my works pales in comparison. I haven't pursued a book idea for over 8 years. I have found many outlets for writing that I have loved with my whole heart, such as this blog, but nothing that has given me the same excited feeling I used to get from creating worlds and characters.

I want to get back into writing again. I want to write like I used to when I was young and thought I had all the time in the world to conquer my dreams. I want to take my time to craft something I'm proud of, even if I'm the only one who ever reads it. I'm excited to find joy in writing again, and to stop comparing myself to the achievements of other authors. 

Right now everything is so raw and new that I can't share anything too detailed in this post. This post isn't an announcement to get excited about. It's more of a way to finally push myself into gear, get started, and hold myself accountable. It could take years, decades even, before I ever think of revealing or publishing anything. I don't know if I'll ever get to that point, but when I do I can't wait for you to join me on this journey.
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If you have a current WIP or some writing inspiration, I'd absolutely love to hear about it! 

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