stress + mess

05 November 2016

2 months and 14 days.
College is hard. But it's a different sort of hard than I expected.
I expected no sleep, writing papers, reading thousands of pages from several different texts, and a confusing class schedule that would require me to wake up early in order to be on time for anything.
But it's different.
On the day I moved in I felt as if I were having an out-of-body experience. I wasn't really there. I was just going through the motions, watching everyone go by while they did their own thing.
And after 2 months and 14 days that feeling hasn't really gone away.
You anticipate going to college for so long. Throughout high school all they ever talk about is: "In college you'll have to..." "College is like..." college, college, college... and when you finally get there, it doesn't seem real at all.
You also don't realize how it really does go by so fast.
In a blurred frenzy of papers, and classes, and late nights, and crying, and laughing, I am already 6 weeks away from finishing my first semester. Already 1/8 of the way done.
I now know how to construct coherent sentences in French, and what the word "primogeniture" means. I tried ballroom dancing, and have been able to analyze the deeper meanings of literature.
I wrote a long paper on the effects that blogging has on a person's identity, and realized just how much I missed this space.
I've been trying for a long time to find a way to sum up my conflicting, chaotic, and confusing feelings on college. And all I can say is: so far so good.


  1. glad school is going well for you, Hannah. That paper you wrote about blogging...that sounds so interesting. I hope the rest of the semester is peaceful and fulfilling for you <3

  2. You really summed up how I have felt about my first semester thus far. I feel like there's a little bit more stress involved with me though. ;) love this, love your blog.

  3. I relate to this - time goes so fast. I'm glad college has been a good experience for you.

    And I agree with Katie - that paper on blogging and identity has gotten me curious! You might have to share some of your conclusions. :)

    1. I definitely would be interested in talk about my thoughts on the connections between blogging and identity someday! Glad to hear it interests you. :)

  4. It's so good to read your writing again. I've missed it. :) College sounds altogether overwhelming yet great. About the moving in part, I heard one person describe it once as being weird because it's just like high school except you live at school. That is fantastic that you've taken ballroom dancing lessons and are learning French and reading literature. That sounds great. I am happy for you. :)

    1. Thank you, Danielle. I've missed you too. College is definitely weird, but I'm getting through one step at a time.