a concept of confidence

01 December 2017

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I'm always surprised when people think I'm a confident person.
"Wow Hannah, I wish I had your confidence."
Okay. What confidence? Obviously you don't know me at all.
Confidence is something so seemingly simple. It's so easy to wear a mask of confidence on the outside, yet so so difficult to actually grasp, at least for me. Confidence is a concept I think about very often. What is it exactly? And what does it take to actually achieve a deep sense of true confidence in yourself?

I view confidence as an unattainable tight rope-like act. It's a constant balance between not being prideful about yourself and your accomplishments, but it's also not being insecure about who you are. It's a balance I struggle so hard to achieve. I always find myself falling to one side or the other, and I wrestle with myself. How does one practice confidence??
But with me it is a very small thing that I should be judged by you or by any human court. In fact, I do not even judge myself. For I am not aware of anything against myself, but I am thereby acquitted. It is the Lord who judges me. 1 Corinthians 4:3-4
I think the magic key to confidence is not worrying about yourself.
We're told by so many people all the time to simply block out the haters and the people who drag you down (easier said than done), we all know this, but the part we often forget is that we also shouldn't judge ourselves. Something I've realized recently that hit me hard is that anxiousness is not humility. And it's definitely not a way to achieve confidence. It's just another manifestation of pride when all your thoughts are consumed with yourself and how you appear to others.

It isn't until you can completely trust yourself in the hands of God, the only ultimate judge, and think of others over yourself that you can begin to feel real, genuine confidence. It makes sense that trust and confidence would go hand in hand. When we trust in God and how He's made us and what He has planned for us, we can have complete confidence and not be anxious or afraid with what we're doing in life.

Confidence is still something I need a lot more practice in, but I think it is a concept I can finally begin to grasp.

I recently read The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness by Timothy Keller a month or so ago. It's a short book of no more than 50 pages (more like a pamphlet, really), but everything that was talked about in it really stirred up all of these things I've been praying about, and gave me a lot of clarity in my thoughts. I'm still reflecting on it, and it partially inspired this post. 

16 comments

  1. Thank you for opening up and Sharing your thoughts on the topic of confidence. I really enjoyed reading what you had to say. I agree that it's difficult to do but by not worrying about it we can begin to achieve it. Loved this post. <3
    Simply Me

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    1. It is difficult, but it's nice to know that we aren't alone in this struggle!
      Thanks for commenting, Vanessa!

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  2. *sigh* Sometimes I look at people and wonder how they got so confident until they reveal that they are actually not as confident as they may seem.

    I'm also trying to build my confidence. I have accepted certain parts of my appearance while others need to be improved on. But talking to people in the hardest thing :(

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    1. It's definitely super easy to seem confident to others, but we all have things to work on when it comes to confidence I think.

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  3. "anxiousness is not humility…It's just another manifestation of pride when all your thoughts are consumed with yourself and how you appear to others." <<< Ahh, preach it. This is something I feel so so hard.

    Confidence is one of those things, like you said, that's easy to fool people into thinking you have it, when you don't. And I love what you said about it being a tightrope act - it absolutely is.

    k.

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  4. "anxiousness is not humility. And it's definitely not a way to achieve confidence. It's just another manifestation of pride when all your thoughts are consumed with yourself and how you appear to others."

    WOW. This hit me HARD - a lesson I'm learning, too. thanks for this post!

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    1. So glad you could relate, Olivia! Thank you for your sweet words!

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  5. I.Love.This.Post.
    I totally agree! Thank you so much for this post and a wonderful introduction to your blog!
    Followed :-)
    Have a lovely day
    ~E

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  6. As someone who has been told multiple times that I seem confident about things I am doing, and feel soooooo unprepared, I really enjoyed reading this post. Thank you <3. I agree that our anxiety is usually very selfish. It doesn't make it easier to step out of that habit... especially when we are terrified of disappointing others. But it does give us a reason to fight against it and ask for the Lord's grace to grow us in His image <3.
    Blessings, Bri
    www.forget-not-his-benefits.blogspot.com

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    1. I find that instead of being anxious about yourself and letting it build up, it's better to think about others and what you can do or pray for them. But it's a hard thing to remember to practice sometimes.
      Thanks for stopping by, Bri!

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    2. Yes! This is so true! I find that I still feel odd at the church we are attending, even though I've gone most weeks for 18 months. But a church that I volunteer at at their special needs respites... I feel completely at home there, even though I've only gone once a month for a year! I can definitely say it's because I'm serving those people rather than drawing into myself... and so I have been hoping for ways to serve at our own church! My sister and I worked in the nursery this Sunday :).
      Also, yes again! I have made friends that I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have if I hadn't made a point to pray for them... something about praying for them to be blessed opens our eyes to ways we can be a blessing, I think!
      Thank you for this reminder <3!
      <3, Bri
      www.forget-not-his-benefits.blogspot.com

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  7. wow yes yes yes. I have to admit, I do seem like a very confident, extroverted person and at times, yes I am. But actually I am a lot more self-conscious and anxious deep down than people often expect or appreciate, and a lot of the time my "confidence" is just a mask.

    Can't believe I've never come across your blog before - your photography is beautiful!

    Lexie x
    www.whatlexieloves.blogspot.com

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    1. Thank you, Lexie! You're so sweet, even though the picture in this post isn't mine. :) Thank you for visiting and taking the time to comment!

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  8. Wow, I relate to this a lot, and your conclusion was powerful. It sounds cliche, but it's amazing how more God and less me is always the solution. Thank you for sharing. xx

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